Never Hers
by scrumptiousinternetllama
Summary: Tonks loves the time she gets to spend with Remus and even feels like she's moving forward with their relationship. But one unexpected arrival in the form of Mary Macdonald changes all of that...


**AN: Pride of Portree**

 **Beater 1: Write about a light character committing the sin of envy or a dark character demonstrating the virtue of kindness.  
Optional Prompts: (quote) 'I have always known who you really are, and that's why I love you.' - Belle, Once Upon A Time, (word) risk, (setting) number 12, Grimmauld Place.**

Never Hers

Tonks skirted around the umbrella stand, being extra careful to avoid knocking it over again. The portrait of Sirius' mother wasn't kind to those who woke it—or anyone, for that matter. She remembered the last time that Walburga had been awakened and cringed.

The usual spiel of "blood-traitor" and "Mudblood" had been there but then, as Remus walked past, another insult had been added… "half-breed". Remus' stoic face as he helped Tonks close the curtains on the portrait was enough to tell her that he had been affected by the words. She couldn't believe she was related to the bigoted woman in that painting; they were complete opposites.

She entered the kitchen and took a seat, glad that she hadn't tripped or broken anything on her way in.

"You're late."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Sirius, would you rather I rushed here and broke a few bones?"

"Is that actually a question?" he shot back. Tonks glared at him, but she couldn't keep up the facade for long.

"It's good to see you," she said with a smile.

"It's good to see you alive," Sirius said. After a moment's pause, he added, "And with all limbs intact."

"Nice to see you actually care." She couldn't help but tease him slightly. "But in all seriousness, the mission was a lot of fun."

"Did you forget the part where your life was at risk?" Mad-Eye decided to cut in.

"I got used to it," she said with a grin. It felt good to show her success to the person who had mentored her. She let her gaze flick to the side, but the person she really wanted to impress looked entirely disinterested. Instead, his focus was on the door. She turned around to see what he was looking at and her eyes widened. In the doorway stood a beautiful woman, whose hair was blonde and roughly cut. It gave her a wild look.

"Welcome, Miss Macdonald," Minerva said with a small smile.

"Professor McGonagall!" the woman, Miss Macdonald, apparently, exclaimed.

"You recognise me; I'm surprised."

"How could I forget my own Head of House?"

"You moved away when you were sixteen. It's been quite a few years."

"No matter how long it's been, I don't think I'd ever be able to forget you."

Tonks smiled at the conversation. Minerva seemed genuinely happy to see the woman, but Tonks couldn't shake the feeling of being left out. The feeling was confirmed when Remus and Sirius stood up.

"Mary!" Sirius ran over to her and gave her a hug.

Mary laughed. "Sirius, I think you're going to crush me." He let go and Remus made his way over to her.

"It's been a long time," he said with a smile. Mary lifted her arms and wrapped them around him in a hug.

Tonks felt like the air had been knocked out of her, but everyone around her seemed oblivious. She had been trying for years to get Remus' attention, and all this woman had to do was walk into a room.

"What have you been doing all these years?" he asked once they had released each other.

Mary shrugged. "After I got pulled out of school, my parents sent me to Beauxbatons and I got my qualifications. Then I travelled for a bit, getting jobs around the world and just generally building up my experience. I just recently left a job I kept for five years. I have to say, that one was my favourite."

Remus grinned. "Sounds like you've been busy. Nothing has changed on that front, clearly. What did you do for that job? It must have been brilliant to be the only thing that kept you tied down for that long."

"It was a centre for kids with lycanthropy. It was a beautiful place." Tonks could practically _feel_ Remus' interest spike.

"What did you do there?" She was right.

"Well, at first I was in the centre during the day, providing emotional support for the kids—"

"Like therapy sessions?" asked Tonks.

Mary nodded. "Exactly like therapy sessions. Then, later on, I was assigned nighttime duty. You see, some of the kids were left there by their parents. It was a children's home of sorts. Nighttime duty involved comforting the children when they had nightmares and, once I had gained some more experience, assisting with transformations."

Remus' eyes widened. Tonks was just as impressed as he was—and she hated it. "But that must have been incredibly dangerous. You could have been seriously hurt!" Tonks tried not to wince at the amount of care she heard in Remus' voice. In only a few minutes, this woman had undone anything she had worked so hard to achieve over the past year. How on earth could she compete with that?

"Remmy," said Mary. Her voice was quiet, and Tonks squeezed her eyes shut at the endearment. "I wasn't at risk. I became an Animagus under the tutelage of one of my older colleagues at the centre. It was perfectly safe for me to go in there; werewolves don't attack animals." Tonks bit her tongue to stop herself from telling Mary that Remus already knew.

Remus looked like he was about to respond when Kingsley entered the room. It was time for the meeting to start.

* * *

Usually, after meetings, she and Remus went out to a café around the corner. Sometimes they went with Sirius, other times they didn't. At first, Tonks had invited him there with the excuse of briefing him on any cases she had as an Auror that had a possible connection to Death Eaters. They had met there after every meeting and once she ran out of cases to show him, they just chilled out there. Remus didn't seem to mind just sitting and having conversation. It was during those meetings that he had—finally—begun to open up to her, sharing laughs over cups of tea and coffee respectively.

Today, however, she sat at their regular table in the café, alone. Remus had told her to go ahead and order their drinks, that he had some things he wanted to discuss with Kingsley. He had said he'd catch up. She watched as the longer hand on the clock moved to the six. She had been waiting for half an hour. Tonks stood up, put her jacket back on and gave Remus' cold cup of tea a final glance before leaving the café. She slipped into the small alley at the side of it and Disapparated.

The Ministry was busy but Tonks managed to push her way through the thick crowds of people to the lift. She pressed the number for the Auror floor and moved to the back as more people entered.

* * *

"Tonks, you're late," said Mad-Eye with a frown… or what looked like a frown. She couldn't be sure; the scars made it difficult to decipher his expressions.

She rolled her eyes. "Funny, I've heard that twice today."

"Enough of the cheek. You're going out today; you need your full attention on the job," he said and thrust a piece of paper at her.

 _Mission Briefing_

 _Investigating: Werewolves_

 _Area: Stac Pollaidh, Scotland_

 _Brief: You will be investigating the area around and on Stac Pollaidh in Scotland for any suspicious activity. It is rumoured that Death Eaters are recruiting werewolves in the area. Keep your eyes open but do not make yourself known._

The moment she finished reading, Mad-Eye snatched the slip of paper back and set it alight with a whispered "Incendio." It was common practice in the Auror Department to destroy the mission briefings. Fear of spies in the department had grown, so they found it best to only show mission briefings to those who were directly involved in them. Once it was a pile of blackened ashes, Mad-Eye looked up and barked, "Let's go!"

It was time for the mission.

* * *

The mission had gone well—for the most part. Tonks had made herself look like an absolute idiot right at the end, when Mad-Eye had instructed her to return to the Ministry. As she had been sneaking away from the site she had been observing from, she had tripped over a tree root and suffered some deep cuts to her entire body. She had taken the risk and had Apparated into the Atrium. The only thing she had seen before passing out was a group of horrified faces.

The next weekend couldn't come quickly enough for Tonks. She was discharged from St Mungo's and went straight to number 12, Grimmauld Place. Another Order meeting was taking place today and she wasn't going to miss it.

Upon entering the house, the first thing she heard was a loud laugh. And the first thing she saw was a hand resting on Remus' arm. It was Mary's hand. "Tonks!" he said with a huge grin. She loved to see him smile; it just hurt slightly to know that it wasn't because of her.

"Wotcher, Remus," she said with a tight smile.

"You can go ahead into the meeting, Mary," he said, turning back towards the other woman. "I want to talk to Tonks for a moment." He waited until Mary had left and Tonks wondered what he could possibly want to tell her. "Tonks," he said with a sad smile, "I'm so sorry about last week. I completely forgot about our coffee meeting." Her heart fluttered for a moment at the use of 'our' but the feeling was quashed a moment later. "I was talking to Mary and just lost track of time."

"It's alright, Remus. I had to get to the Ministry anyway," she lied, struggling to keep the smile plastered on her face.

Remus looked relieved but then he tensed back up again. What was wrong? "Could I ask you for a favour?"

"Of course," she answered, feeling quite puzzled.

"Well, you see, Mary and I have had quite a bit of time to catch up. She left school when she was sixteen because of the war but we were quite close friends before that. Now that we're both older… Well, it was Mary that brought it up. And I must say that I agree with her—"

"About what?" Tonks asked. She was anxious to hear what Remus wanted to tell her and so his rambling had to be cut off.

Remus took a deep breath. "I want to ask Mary to be my girlfriend," he said, exhaling.

Tonks squeezed her eyes shut. This could not be happening. A woman that had been there for only a week had taken the place she had wanted to occupy with ease. She had been trying for so long. It wasn't fair! Despite not wanting them to, the tears sprang to her eyes.

"Tonks?" Remus' voice sounded concerned. She couldn't bring herself to open her eyes and look at him. It would only make everything worse.

She forced herself to open her mouth and say, "It's nothing important, Remus." She was about to walk away when she felt Remus' hand wrap around her wrist.

"Dora?"

"Don't call me that," she choked out, trying to release her hand from his grip.

"I know what this is about. Sirius told me—I was hoping it was a fleeting infatuation."

"Well, it wasn't," she growled. "Will you let go?"

"I don't want you to think that I like Mary any better than you. You're both lovel—"

"Then what's the difference?" she asked, her voice sounding rather shrill.

Remus sighed. "Mary is older than you. She's more experienced and… and she knows how to handle someone with my condition. Her time in the lycanthropy centre helped with that. She understands how people like me work. She won't be afraid of me—"

"Afraid?" Now she was shouting. "Are you being serious, Remus? You think I'm afraid of you? I've been out on missions regarding werewolves multiple times and not once have I been afraid! This last time didn't end so prettily either," she hissed, gesturing to the bandages around her neck. Remus' eyes flicked towards them and widened.

"What on earth were you thinking?" he exclaimed. "You could have been killed!"

Tonks rolled her eyes. "In case you forgot, it's my job! And it's not as if you care so stop acting like you do!"

"Of course I care, Tonks!" he shouted. But he didn't realise that he didn't care for her in the way she wanted him to care for her. "Mary and I have been friends for a long time. She knows what I am and she'll accept me—she doesn't care!"

Tonks took deep breaths to steady herself. "I have always known who you really are, and that's why I love you." Remus' eyes snapped up and met hers, and for the first time, there was no response to her statement. He looked as if the air had been knocked out of him. "I'm sorry if you've never been able to see that," she said, and twisted her arm free. "It's time for the meeting."

Tonks couldn't bear to look at him during the meeting. However, her treacherous gaze ventured to him occasionally and his drawn, haggard expression pained her. _It's nothing Mary can't fix_ , she thought with a scowl.

Remus didn't love her; he loved a beautiful blonde from his school days. She could not compare. It was best to keep the man out of her mind. His heart belonged to Mary Macdonald… not her.


End file.
